Post Relationship Trauma- Getting to the Other Side

By now you know more about Chana’s story and what contributed to her post-relationship trauma (from a previous blog). You know how she’s been paralyzed by fear of being hurt.
You also know that by building more awareness about what’s blocked her ’til now she’s been able to let go of the pain and let love in.
By now, you must be thinking, how does this happen? How does someone go from having a crappy childhood filled with pain, shame and a lack of love to one, where you can effortlessly let love in?
So here goes…
Chana took a leap of faith…
I know it sounds simple, but that’s really what she did. By acknowledging the pain she went through and having a space where someone (I) was able to hold her as she released her pain, Chana was able to push through.
Now this may sound overly simplistic… but let me tell you, there’s nothing easy about what Chana did. There’s no way she could have done this entirely on her own.  She needed the support of someone she could trust. Someone who could ask the tough questions and sit with the painful tears.
As much as we all wish we could just do this with our friends, not too many of our friends, even our best friends, have the capacity to hear your pain. How many can help you without making you feel guilty, crappy, or worse; to blame for your situation.
This stuff, if done right, can be emotionally gut wrenching.  But when you come out on the other side…Ahhhh, you feel light as a feather…
I liken it to giving birth to a new you. Labour is so hard and painful, but it only lasts for a limited time. When the new you comes out on the other side, you feel like a gem.
The process I generally use these days to help people work through their pain is called Somatic Experience Therapy. It’s a technique that’s been around since the 1970’s. It was created by Dr. Peter Levine, a psychiatrist in LA who worked with many patients whom he discovered had been blocked from moving forward in life because they were trapped in fight, flight or freeze mode.
By releasing these barriers from our bodies we enable ourselves to do things we had otherwise convinced ourselves we couldn’t.
For example, when we, like Chana, experience negative relationships in the past, we create a story in our mind that we are un-loveable, or undeserving of love.
We need to create a corrective experience that involves cleaning up the past and creating potential positive outcomes for our future to heal the past wounds.
Somatic experience therapy is a specialized technique that isn’t terribly complicated and enables a person to release their past trauma’s quickly. That’s what I love about it the most. It’s fast, effective and my clients feel great and ready to move forward in a shorter span of time than traditional psychodynamic and other talk therapies.
Whether you’ve experienced a trauma that happened over several years, or a shock trauma, Somatic Experience Therapy is a great way to release the dead-weight fast.
Have you or someone you know experienced a trauma that may be getting in the way of finding love? Email me at: mlavinpell@gmail.com and let me know about it. I’ve had the pleasure of helping many people overcome traumas that have gotten in the way of finding love…