Can We Overcome Our Relationship Slip Ups?

It’s happened again. Another fight, another argument with your partner. Over who does the accounts, the dishes, who shouted at who last. What went wrong? Most of us when we enter a relationship don’t think about the potential misunderstandings that are part of the slippery slopes of any partnership. Slip ups are inevitable. It’s normal to have misunderstandings in any relationship. It’s all about recognizing this and creating a partnership that can honestly deal with the ‘slip ups’ of tension and conflict in a healthy way.
Of course we deal with arguments in different ways. There’s good old denial, where we pretend that nothing has happened. If you both have spectacular short term memories this could work. But we all know that contentious issues swept under the carpet only result in elephants growing in your relationship, which whilst ‘hidden’ have to continually be sidestepped. This can be exhausting for both of you.
Another way couples deal with misunderstandings is the loudest one wins. One partner bows out of the fight for the other. Often this indicates an unhealthy dynamic, where the relationship isn’t about mutual respect, but rather survival of the fittest. Having one person discontented in a relationship is a lose – win. No one wants to or should have to live in a boxing ring.
Whether you deny the issues in your relationship or just give in to your partner on them, they will not go away. Conflict is a part of life and when we don’t have the tools to deal with it, we are left in a lose – lose situation. Healthy relationships seek to develop effective conflict resolution skills. I find that often it’s the healthier couples who seek my advice. They’re both willing to acknowledge their hot spots that trigger their ‘slip ups’ so it’s a lot easier to find a solution together.
The main thing of course is don’t worry when you slip up in your relationship. It doesn’t mean it’s an apocalypse, it means that you are a normal couple. View slip ups as an opportunity for growth rather than a reason to feel anxious about your relationship or to put your partner down. Rather celebrate in the knowledge that every vibrant relationship has their ups and downs, and most of all when things are tough there’s always a second chance.
What are some relationship slip-ups that you are struggling to overcome? Email me: [email protected]