Lost in Translation: Are You Really Being Heard?

We all want to feel heard. Whether it’s a partner, a friend, or a family member, there’s something deeply validating about knowing that someone understands us—not just our words but the emotions and needs behind them.

But what happens when you don’t feel heard? When you leave conversations feeling frustrated, unseen, or misunderstood? It can be one of the most isolating feelings in a relationship.

Here’s the good news: there are ways to help others hear you better, without resorting to blame or frustration.

If you’ve ever felt like:

• The other person interrupts or talks over you.
• They jump to advice instead of listening to what you’re really saying.
• They seem distracted or disengaged.
• They brush off your emotions or tell you to “just relax.”

…you’re not alone. These moments can feel small, but over time, they add up to a bigger issue: disconnection.

Feeling heard starts with how you communicate. Here are some practical tips to make sure your voice is truly being heard in your relationships:

1. Be Clear About What You Need. It’s easy to get frustrated when someone doesn’t “get it,” but often, the problem is that we assume people know what we want. Be upfront. Say, “I don’t need advice right now—I just need to talk this out,” or, “It would really mean a lot if you could just listen for a minute.”

2. Pick the Right Time. If the person you’re talking to is distracted, stressed, or in a hurry, it’s harder for them to listen fully. Say something like, “I need to talk about something important. Is now a good time, or should we find another time?”

3. Speak with Vulnerability. It’s hard to listen when someone’s tone feels accusatory or defensive. Instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” try, “I feel like I’m not being understood, and it’s hard for me to open up when I feel that way.” Vulnerability invites connection.

4. Notice Who Does Hear You. Sometimes, we spend so much energy trying to get one person to hear us that we forget to appreciate those who already do. If there’s someone in your life who makes you feel seen, lean into that relationship—it’s a gift.
   

What to Do If You Still Don’t Feel Heard

• Pause and Reflect. Is this a one-time issue, or a recurring pattern? If it’s the latter, it might point to a deeper incompatibility in communication styles or emotional priorities.
• Consider Outside Support. If you’re in a relationship and feel like communication is consistently breaking down, talking to a mentor, rabbi, or therapist can help bridge the gap.
• Know When to Walk Away. Feeling heard is a basic emotional need. If someone repeatedly dismisses your feelings or shuts you down, it may be time to reevaluate whether the relationship is serving you.

Reflect on your own relationships. Is there someone in your life who consistently makes you feel heard? Take a moment to appreciate them—maybe even let them know how much that means to you.

And if there’s someone with whom you feel unheard, ask yourself: What’s one small step I can take to change that dynamic? Can I be clearer, more vulnerable, or more patient?

Who do you feel heard by, and what makes them stand out? Let’s talk about it in the comments.