Get Your Emotional S#!% Together to Avoid a PLAYER…

WARNING!
This blog contains scarily accurate descriptions of people you may have dated in the past, or worse.. of people you would actually consider going out with in the future. You shouldn’t need to be a proctologist to recognize an a**hole when you see one, but when it comes to relationships many of us seem to have a blind spot to people we really ought to be able to recognize clearly from the beginning.
In this article I’m going to help you avoid the players, and to answer the question of why you might fall for this type of person, possible more than once!

Does This Sound Familiar
“You’re so beautiful,” the Player IM’s, as he glosses over photos of other women he sees on OK Cupid, or J-Date. “No woman will ever compare with you.” The Player continues, as you protest that there are many more beautiful women than you.
“But you’re different,” The Player types with insistence. “No other woman makes me feel the way you do.”
These are just a few of the catch phrases some players will use to make you think they are legitimate and want a real relationship. But the real Head F$#% comes now…
The Player starts to share seemingly personal things with you about his past. You begin to feel an emotional tug at your heart strings.
“Do you want to see other photos of me?” He asks coyly, “see what other women are hot for?”
So now you are reading this and thinking, “Are you for real? What do I care what other women see in you? I want a man who is all about me.”
As you insist you are fine not knowing exactly what he looks like and about all of his fantasies he’d like to share, you slowly start to wonder, “Who the hell is this guy? And, why does he so confidently tell you things so openly like he has nothing to lose?”
WHY? Why would someone invest so much time and effort in talking to you, and putting his heart on the line for you, if he doesn’t really care? This guy who is schmaltzing and regaling you with all of this glitzy talk is an emotional wasteland. He wouldn’t know how to connect with a fluffy baby bunny if given half a chance. The only thing that motivates this man, and I’m saying this with great sadness and compassion in my heart, is his male anatomy.
The player feels extremely degraded and full of self-hate.  Early on he was used and abused and the only self-esteem he has, even though he has plenty to feel worthy for, is through what he can give you…how he can make you feel.
He thinks that by making you feel good, he’ll benefit in some way. But it  doesn’t really work that way. He only continues to feel worse for wear. Not being aware of what is happening, he gets sucked into this process of chatting women up and trying to make them feel good, without ever forming an emotional connection. Making women FEEL things is what makes him feel POWERFUL. While deep down he feels POWERLESS…His inner child has been bruised beyond measure. Unaware of what will really make him feel good.
To be sure he gets what he wants, he has his lines at the ready. Ready and waiting for you to take the bait.

SPOTTING A PLAYER IS WHY YOU NEED TO HAVE YOUR EMOTIONAL S#!& TOGETHER!!!!
“He makes me feel so good.” You begin to think to yourself. “How much harm can talking to him do,” You convince yourself.” Until he really gets his claws into you, and you can’t even remember not having him on your mind. You wake up with him in your thoughts each morning, and you go to sleep fantasizing about him each night. Still not having a “relationship” with him, but he has gotten into your kishkas. You feel things you’ve never felt before. A new sense of vitality…More alive than ever. Your libido is on fire…
And then, once you are really hook, line and sinker, he pulls away, and you are left dumbfounded. One minute (and I mean like 5 minutes earlier) he’s telling you that you are the hottest thing that ever graced this planet, and the next he’s disinterested, focused on the next so-and-so.
But he already has you hooked. So you beg to meet up with him. You need to see him, because he has made you feel so wanted, and maybe even cared for.
Want to find out how to avoid getting into this mess in the first place?
Ok – I’m pitching my blog posts  here, but they are full of thought provoking questions, insights and advice for finding (and keeping) the right partner. Check them out, subscribe and please share your experiences, wisdom and questions below.