The Best You Can Be: A Relationship Lesson from Simone Biles
(image credit: depositphotos)
Have you ever felt overwhelmed by the need to be perfect in your relationship, constantly trying to meet your partner’s expectations while concealing your own struggles? Watching the Olympics with my family got me thinking – how do Olympians do it? The immense pressure, tremendous expectations, all while exuding this aura of being superhuman? Listening to American Gymnast, Simone Biles’s provided me with some insight:
Despite an apparent injury, Biles competed with her characteristic excellence, leaving us not only in awe of her athletic prowess but also inspired by her approach to challenges. Her journey provides valuable lessons not just for athletes, but for anyone striving to build healthier relationships with themselves and others .
When asked if she was okay after the injury, Biles replied, “Yup! As good as I can be.” This simple response carries a powerful message: all we can expect of ourselves is to be the best we can be. This mindset is not only crucial in sports but is also a cornerstone for successful relationships. Being our best selves involves showing up authentically: being honest about our limits and capabilities.
In 2021, Simone Biles made headlines by withdrawing from competition to prioritize her mental and physical health, a decision some criticized as quitting but which was actually a profound act of self-care and self-awareness. By choosing her long-term well-being over short-term performance, Biles demonstrated the importance of stepping back to prevent burnout and stay engaged with our partners. This was during the COVID-19 pandemic, where the absence of her family significantly impacted her mental health, highlighting the crucial need to recognize and address the lack of a support system. This situation underscores the importance of acknowledging when support is missing and seeking help, as well as the value of understanding and communication in relationships to navigate challenges effectively.
Fast forward to 2024, Biles’ decision to discuss how she views the limits to her performance because of her injury further showcases her courage to be vulnerable. Biles is a woman in tune with when it is appropriate and inappropriate to push herself. What was the right choice for her in 2021, looked different this time around. In both she was able to put others’ expectations for her to the side, and focus on being “as good as I can be”. In relationships, embracing our vulnerabilities can strengthen our bonds. It allows us to be authentic, express our fears and weaknesses, and seek and offer support. Biles faced immense pressure but understood that the only person she needed to answer to was herself.
So, how does this translate to our everyday relationships? Reflect on when you last allowed yourself to be vulnerable with your partner and whether you create a safe space for them to share their own vulnerabilities. Consider if it’s time to revisit opportunities you’ve previously avoided or if you’re overextending yourself, as sometimes our commitments to others prevent us from being honest about our limits. Simone Biles teaches us that true balance comes from being forgiving with ourselves. We can all learn from Simone’s approach: strive to do your best, embrace your vulnerabilities, and foster a safe space for yourself and others. By doing so, you’ll build deeper connections and navigate your relationships with greater empathy and understanding. Biles’ journey reminds us that real strength lies in being in tune with ourselves, both in our personal achievements and in our relationships.
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Why Invest in Relationship Skills Before Finding Love?
No one wants to live with a feeling that disaster can strike at any time. However, we all take precautions to make sure that in the event that something bad does happen, we’re covered for major, albeit unlikely or seldom occurrences. Invest time in learning about who we are and what makes some partners more right for you than others is essential.
Many of us take precautions to make sure that we can live with peace of mind. Those of us with valuables have home and contents insurance, in the event a thief invades our home and takes off with our precious belongings.
Prevention
Those of us who have a car take it in for a regular service so that it’ll drive more smoothly, so that we feel safe and protected when we’re on the road.
We don’t wait for our teeth to go rotten before seeing a dentist. Therefore, we visit a dental hygienist from time to time.
For some reason, when it comes to general health, even though we may have health insurance, many of us tend to utilize it only once disaster has struck as opposed to taking advantages of its preventative services to keep us as healthy as possible.
Similarly, when it comes to our relationships, many simply rely on fate. They think they should just suffer and face the music when the time comes. For now we love each other, and they hope and pray things will carry on that way.
Given the divorce rate is very nearly 50%, it seems like throwing caution to the wind may be a dangerous way to run our lives. To just hope for the best, rather than take actual preventative measures to ensure our marriage runs as smoothly as possible doesn’t sound like much of an insurance policy.
One of the reasons many people don’t avail themselves of preventative relationship services is a lack of awareness. There are several health prevention programs around, yet still most marriage therapists focus on helping marriages in crises. Few are trained in preventative approaches.
Many read self-help books about how to keep their relationships healthy and think that alone will ward off all gloom and doom in their marriage.
While self-help books can help a lot with encouraging healthy behavior patterns, they do little to help a couple who have, for example, experienced challenging relationships in the past. Moreover, people can have all the information at their fingertips about what they need to do to create a more loving relationship, but applying the information in real time when faced with a partner that looks and sounds like a wild dragon spewing fire out of its nostrils, is another story entirely.
Dr Sue Johnson, an acclaimed expert on love and relationships, says that when we feel triggered by something our partner does, even if their intentions are good, this can make us feel like they are against us. When we feel threatened and our sensors are down and we’re not expecting it, we react badly.
Self-help books don’t give couples awareness about their past and knowledge about how this may influence their future relationship dynamics.
Awareness is Key
The more aware we are of what we bring into a relationship the better able we will be to choose a partner who will trigger us less and with whom we can be our most real and vulnerable selves.
Furthermore, the more aware we are of our past relationship wounds, the more we can heal these and become more reflective as opposed to reactive, the better able we will be to withstand relationship challenges.
Click here to read more:
https://gethelpisrael.com/why-invest-in-your-relationship-skills-before-you-even-find-love/
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