Behind every returning soldier, there’s a story of resilience—and often, an untold struggle with intimacy and sexual health.

The ongoing conflict in Israel has left many of our soldiers profoundly affected, not only by the physical and emotional scars of war but also by the challenges they face when trying to reintegrate into everyday life. Since Oct 7th, I have seen firsthand how these brave individuals grapple with complex and often confusing sexual responses after their service in Gaza. These responses can vary widely, from hypoactive sexual desire (a significant decrease in sexual interest) to hyperactive sexual desire (an overwhelming increase in sexual activity).

The Impact of War on Sexual Health

The psychological and physical toll of war can extend far beyond the battlefield, significantly impacting a soldier’s sexual health and intimate relationships. The transition from the hypervigilant state required in combat to the perceived safety of civilian life is neither immediate nor easy. This disconnection can lead to significant challenges in their personal relationships, where intimacy, once a source of comfort and connection, may now feel unfamiliar or even unattainable.

Hypoactive Sexual Desire: Understanding Withdrawal

One of the most common issues I encounter is hypoactive sexual desire among returning soldiers. This condition can be deeply distressing for both the soldier and their partner. Several factors contribute to this withdrawal:

● Psychological Trauma: The relentless stress and trauma of war can lead to conditions
like PTSD, anxiety, and depression, which often suppress sexual desire as the mind and body remain in a state of alert, focused more on survival than on intimacy.
● Emotional Numbness: Many soldiers report feeling emotionally numb as a coping mechanism to deal with the horrors of war. Unfortunately, this numbness can spill over into their intimate relationships, making it challenging to connect on a sexual level.
● Guilt and Shame: Some soldiers carry a heavy burden of guilt or shame related to their actions in combat or simply because they survived while others did not. These intense emotions can create a significant barrier to sexual intimacy, leaving them feeling undeserving of pleasure or connection.

Hyperactive Sexual Desire: The Urge to Reconnect

On the other hand, some soldiers experience the opposite—a hyperactive sexual desire. This heightened drive can be influenced by:

● Seeking Reconnection: After enduring the isolation and fear of combat, some soldiers may turn to intense sexual activity as a way to reconnect with life, affirm their humanity, and re-establish bonds with their partners.
● Adrenaline and Hypervigilance: The adrenaline and heightened alertness that kept them alive in combat may linger, sometimes leading to impulsive or compulsive behaviors, including increased sexual activity. What might seem like a healthy sexual drive can often be a continuation of the fight-or-flight response, rooted in survival rather than intimacy.
● Escaping Trauma: For others, sex becomes a temporary escape from the painful memories and intrusive thoughts of war. By immersing themselves in the physicality of sex, they can momentarily push aside the trauma that haunts them.

Therapeutic Intervention: The Role of Specialized Therapy in Healing

Addressing these complex sexual responses requires more than just understanding—it demands specialized therapeutic intervention. Therapy offers soldiers a safe space to process their trauma, explore their emotional responses, and begin to heal. A trauma and sexual health specialist is essential in this process, providing tailored approaches like Somatic Experiencing Therapy or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy . This body- focused therapy helps soldiers reconnect with their physical sensations, release stored trauma, and gradually reclaim their sexual health.

Beyond individual therapy, couples therapy is also invaluable. It equips partners with the tools to navigate these challenges together, fostering open communication, understanding, and a renewed sense of connection. By working closely with a specialist, soldiers and their partners can rebuild their relationship on a foundation of trust, patience, and mutual support.

If you or someone you know is navigating these challenges, reach out for specialized support today. Healing is possible.