Getting a conversation started on a first date isn’t always easy. After all, on blind dates especially, we have few points of connection that we are yet aware of. By having a few key points in mind we can turn an ordinary first date into one where we can create an opportunity to get to know the person before us and have fun at the same time.
Bear in mind that most people are not excited to be on yet another first date
In Hebrew we say “Kol hatchalot kashot,” All beginnings are difficult. But if we consider some expectations that we have of ourselves on a date, we can really make things flow much better. For example, we can consider what we want our date to know about us so that they can begin to get an idea about who we are. If we want them to know that we enjoy a good sense of humor, we can share some humorous (yet not too embarrassing stories) about something that happened to us recently. If we want them to know that we are spiritual, we can share a story about something that really made us feel alive and made us see the greater beauty in this world, and that made us realize that something much greater and larger than ourselves is in control. For those of us who are super thrifty we can talk about a great bargain we found the other day that made us really happy. Tech people can share a new item they came across that they never imagined possible and talk about how this new gadget will improve people’s lives.
Coming up with stories and pieces of information at the ready can show the other person a lot about ourselves. If we were to just say, I have a good sense of humor, or I really appreciate a good sense of humor, our date may struggle to believe it without a demonstration.
When we live up to our own expectations and come up with things to share about ourselves, we pave the way for our dates to step it up as well and enable an easier interaction. We have to realize that this may not always get a good conversation going as some people, no matter how hard you try, will never be impressed. It is always worth making an effort on a first date, because after all if a person isn’t impressed with what you have to offer or share, doesn’t that say a lot about them? It may tell us that this person has expectations that are too unachievable, or that they simply aren’t into the things that you have to show them.
Most people, even if they don’t have the exact same hobbies or areas of interest that you do will feel attracted to or at the very least appreciate someone for making an effort.
Some of the things you can do to get the ball rolling on a first date are:
– Share a piece of information that reveals something about yourself.
– Share a story about something that made you feel excited or uplifted.
– Don’t expect the other person to provide the entertainment unless you have prepared as well.
By following these three simple ideas you should be well on your way to being able to get a conversation rolling on every date.
