Top Ten Reasons to Marry an Israeli if You are an Oleh…
Many of the single Olim Chadashim I work with want to marry an Oleh Chadash like themselves. They believe that by marrying someone with a similar mind set will be a better fit for them.
This Yom Ha’Atzmaut I decided to share my thoughts about why Olim Chadashim may actually benefit from marrying a true Sabra (or at least someone who’s parents raised them in Israel).
Here is my top ten list for why an Oleh Chadash should consider marrying an Israeli:
10) To have someone who can yell at the Bezek, Hot, Golan, Orange guy in their native language and actually be taken seriously.
9) To balance out your overzealous idealism and give u a dose of reality.
8) So that you can save your vacation days to actually go on vacation, rather than always be traveling overseas to visit your relatives (that is not a vacation).
Read more here:
http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/top-10-reasons-to-marry-an-israeli-if-you-are-an-oleh-chaddash/
Tips For Getting Relationship Slip Ups Back on Track
We all make mistakes. After all we’re all human. What’s important in any relationship is not the blunders you make, but what you do afterwards. Here’s a list of tips I’ve compiled to make those awkward, uncomfortable moments easier to overcome.
1) Go Easy on Yourself
When we stop whipping ourselves for our faults we open ourselves up to being kinder and more forgiving, not only to ourselves, but to our partner. This sets the stage for loving reconciliation. You can’t give love that you don’t have for yourself. You can’t be kind to your partner if you’re not kind to yourself.
2) You’re on the same Team
Whilst it sometimes feels that you’re at war with your partner, you need to remember that it’s not about right or wrong. You’re partner isn’t against you. You’re on the same team, and through seeking to understand each other, you can resolve your differences together so that you have win-win results.
3) Know That There is Always a Solution
You need to be optimistic that there’s a solution to every problem in your relationship. This makes it asier to grow and move forward together, as you are actively looking for positive outcomes, rather than wallowing in self defeating relationship talk such as ‘it’s useless’ or ‘she or he is never going to change’.
Of course the correct solution may not magically appear right away. Patience, forbearance and the attitude that ‘this too shall pass’ will help see you through any sticky period.
4) Seek Help
There’s no stigma around needing help in your relationship. The best relationships benefit from an objective third party who can offer new perspectives and skills to help overcome any serious differences, or recurring issues. Therapy often enables couples to own their relationship and proactively build their home in a conscious way together.
5) Don’t Forget the Big Picture
When you commit to your partner you’re invested for the future. Small hiccups along the way in the big picture, are just that, minute moments that you’ll look back on with pride and even share tears of laughter as you realise how far you’ve grown.
Travelling the long, winding road of a relationship isn’t easy as you navigate all it’s surprising, bumpy humps, but in the end it’s gratifying to be able to look back and see how far you’ve come together.
Why Writing an Online Dating Profile Well is Essential
If you have written your online dating profile, you know by now it is the least romantic, and most business like part of dating. Many people fill out online dating profiles similarly to completing any other beaurocratic form – quickly and efficiently. Little thought is given to the person reading it…Often the questions are asked in a pragmatic way, which doesn’t invite the writer to bring out feelings of excitement. Most people sound like 2-dimensional characters and are indistinguishable from other members of the site. So whether people are searching for their soulmate or just someone to date, other than the photo, there isn’t much to go on.
I hear lots of complaints, “why should I even bother making an effort with my online dating profile”? Whether or not everyone makes an effort to write a profile isn’t really the point. Writing a decent online dating profile actually can do a lot of good for you.
It is a space to help you crystalise in written form who you are, what you have to offer and what you are looking for.
It sends a message that you take yourself seriously. Taking time to fill out the online dating profile well sends that message.
When you make an effort, others will too. When one person starts taking their online dating profiles seriously it inspires others to do the same.
– A well written online dating profile separates you from the rest. If everyone else says little about themselves, you will stand out as the person who takes the time to show themselves.
– Having a well written online dating profile gives people looking at your profile something to sink their teeth into. Content creates an opportunity for people to chat with you about something that you are passionate about. They can use your content to hit the ground running by connecting with you about something you really care about.
– It helps you to distinguish between people who are reading your online dating profile and those who aren’t. What I mean is, people who are reading your profile, vs just looking at your photo will make references to things you write, when they try to chat with you. (If you are reading all of this, I am going to assume you also want to be with a partner who reads!).
-Having a well written profile saves you time in the long run. If someone starts up with you that appears very wrong for you, you can say, take a look at my profile and then let me know if you are interested in continuing. It is a pretty bold move, that enables the other person to know you won’t be messed with.
I have read many poorly written profiles. Even if people write a lot, but saying nothing, they aren’t inviting. A poorly written profile has the potential to invite the wrong person in, which may even be worse than no person. If you were applying for a job, surely you would spend many hours tweaking your cv. And that is just for a crappy job that will probably last a year or two. Online dating profiles are about trying to land your life partner (presumably), so shouldn’t you consider investing a fair amount of time on it?
Watch this space for my next article on how to make your online dating profile work best for you.
Let Hope Get You Out of the Dating Slump
Increasing our feelings of hope by doing what we love and shifting our attitude about dating is the best way to overcome our dating slump.
Can We Overcome Our Relationship Slip Ups?
Do you sometimes do things to upset your partner that puts a dent into your relationship bliss? How can you overcome your slips ups and move on?
Do You Have to Kill Your Fantasies and Settle to Get Married?
We were all raised on beautiful, fairy tale fantasies. Where the Prince marries the gorgeous girl and they live happily ever after. They ride into the red and orange haloed sunset on a white stallion with a magnificent, towering castle in the background which promises only joy and prosperity. How many couples try and recreate this fairy tale fantasy on their wedding day and in their lives? We all want to live happily ever after. That’s why the fairy tales are reproduced again and again in our theaters. They feed into our fantasy of the way our life should be. Of the way our partner should be; the shining Prince with a sky high bank balance and a six pack to match; the magnificent woman of Barbie proportions with the benevolence of Mother Teresa.
Affair Proof Your Relationship…
An affair, like drugs, overabundance of alcohol, and unhealthy food is a quick fix. It’s a slippery slope for someone who genuinely love’s their partner and wants to keep their marriage alive. Just as the idea of Weight Watchers is to help us stay on the straight and narrow with our diet, marriage education programs can help us learn ways to keep marital love exciting and alive.
I Already Met them over Shabbat, I Know Them
Think you can’t date someone because you already met them at a shabbat dinner and now you know them…think again…
Why I Am Not a Shadchan?
Most people want others to find them love. It is so much smarter to
figure out what you need before looking for a partner so that you can attract the One.
Find and Keep Your Love this Tu B’AV!
As Jews Tu B’Av is our day of romance, a Jewish Valentine’s Day. The first mention of Tu B’Av is in the Mishna Taanit, where we read the story about women dressed in white dancing in the vineyards and suggesting to men that they consider them as a potential partner.
https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/tu-bav/
While we are a long way away from this custom, love and marriage are still very much in vogue…and as love is a fairly basic human need that not many are happy to forgo, it will hopefully to be around forever!
So, if you are looking for love this Tu B’Av, and not sure where to start, consider how you would like your life to look once you already found the love of your life.
Consider some of the following that may be holding you back. The more you are aware of what may be getting in your way, the better able you will be to overcome these barriers.
How to invite love in this Tu B’AV!!!
1) Make room for love: If you haven’t yet found love, it may be the case that you haven’t been making enough time and space for the search. Many people want love, but actually have no room for it.
For those who are in loving relationships, ask yourself whether you are creating enough time and space for your partner. Do either of you feel taken for granted? Are you drowning yourself in work and other hobbies, because your current relationship feels like too much hard work, or you feel bored? Just because you’re in a relationship, this doesn’t mean your job for finding and creating love is over. Just like exercise training, the more you work out, the more effortless it becomes. The more we create an intimate space with our partners, the more it becomes a part of our life.
- Consider changing your schedule.
- Wake up early so you could finish early.
- Insert time to meet people in your diary
- Scout out different events and sign up for them
2) Being open to receiving love:
For some receiving love feels strange. They believe in their heart they want love, but when it comes down to feeling loved, it feels strange or awkward. People who have had challenging relationships with parents, or who have witnessed challenging relationship role models will often feel subconsciously ambivalent about being open to love. The important thing is to acknowledge that this is a possibility. Without being aware that you have a fear of receiving love, clearing a path to love may be a challenge. So awareness is key!
3) Become more capable of offering love:
This is the other side of the coin of having difficulty with receiving. People who struggle to give love often feel that for some reason there isn’t enough love to go around. Either they fear that if they give to someone else they may not receive love in return, or they fear the deep emotional connection that may result if they do offer love. Emotional depth is an unknown they fear. Either way, fear of giving is an important thing to become aware of as well. If you can relate, it’s time to turn this around!
4) Risk taking
Taking risks can feel scary. Going out of your comfort zone to meet someone new, flirting with someone you don’t really know or with someone you do but haven’t flirted with before, and even sharing your feelings with your already committed partner can feel scary. Weigh up the pros and cons of sharing your feelings. Most people find that taking the risk is always worthwhile. Staying in no mans land means things will stay the same…Boring! Or decline…which is worse!
If fear of change or doing anything that feels slightly uncomfortable for the sake of pursuing love is holding you back, the first step is to become aware that this is what’s really happening. The more aware you are of what’s holding you back, the greater the likelihood that you’ll be able to push through and make the change to invite love in.
What is the greatest risk you have taken for love? I’d love to hear about it…shoot me an e-mail: [email protected]
If you would like to work on your vulnerability muscle, sign up to receive a copy now! Click here:
Couple with balloons about to kiss against buildings backdrop. illustration for Top Tips on How to Consciously Create Love
https://admin.smoove.io/