In Israel this time of year, all anyone hears is that if you want something done, you have to wait until “acharei ha-chag”, or after the holidays. It’s as though all of life stands still until after the chaggim are over. A whole whopping month, knocked out of action!
The thing is there are some things you can’t put on hold, like finding or being in love.
Just this morning, I was on the way to meetings and had a million things to do, because after all Rosh Hashanna is just around the corner. My husband called to say he was in agony as he fell off his bike and landed on his right hand.
Suddenly, it felt like the world stopped. I had to make sure my husband was ok… so I ran to meet him at Terem (Jerusalem’s version of A&E) to be with him at his time of need.
Point is, as inconvenient as it was to put my life on hold at the craziest time of the year, being with him at his time of need trumped everything, because I love him…
Love isn’t always convenient. Many will tell you they found love when they were at the height of being crazy busy with things like work or exams, or when they really weren’t up for it. One client shared with me that she met her husband when she broke her leg on a ski trip (yep, he was the orthopedic surgeon).
The trick for all of us – those already in a relationship and those looking for love – is to be open enough to recognize when love is staring us in the face, so we don’t miss it.
While putting your dating or love life on hold until after the chaggim makes sense, it’s also a terrible idea. Because love is one of those emotions we just don’t have control over. Like when we choose to take our car in for a service, or collecting our check books from the bank, or returning our books to the library, or visiting a sick friend.
As it happens, especially if you’re in Israel, there are so many opportunities to meet new people. Meals, shul, parties, communal events are all great meeting places, that putting your search for love on hold at this time would be a missed opportunity.
Leaving some things to after the chag makes good sense, for example, a new project at work, a new hobby, even a New Year’s resolution, but not your search for love.
If you would like to make sure that this time next year, you are sitting beside the love of your life (but hopefully not in A&E), contact me so that I can help you overcome your relationship barriers and get your love life on track.