A Sukkot Reflection about Relationships

Sukkot is a holiday where we step out of our comfortable homes and into the fragility of a sukkah, embracing the elements of nature—the wind, the cold, and sometimes even the rain. It’s a powerful metaphor for relationships, teaching us that true connection comes when we leave behind the walls we construct around ourselves and allow the uncomfortable exposure to create space for growth.

In a world where we often seek control and stability, Sukkot reminds us that there’s strength in surrendering to vulnerability. Much like sitting in a sukkah exposed to the outside world, being in a relationship means allowing someone to see your imperfections and share in your fears. It’s not always easy, but it’s through embracing this discomfort that we uncover deeper truths about ourselves and each other. 

This Sukkot, try Sharing a Personal Story: Just as the sukkah opens itself up to the world, consider sharing something personal with your partner—a story about your past or a challenge you’ve faced. Vulnerability is an invitation to deeper understanding. For example, you might say, “I don’t usually talk about this, but I want you to know…” Opening up creates space for your partner to be open in return.

When we build our “sukkah” in a relationship, we have to be intentional about how we construct it. Are we setting up shaky walls of pretense, or are we building with the open honesty that will let light and warmth in? Relationships thrive when we take the risk to show our true selves—our joys, our insecurities, and even our uncertainties. It’s in that openness, just like in the sukkah, that we find genuine security, one that is built on trust rather than illusion.

This Sukkot, try Allowing Your Partner to Support You: We often try to handle everything on our own, but just as we trust the sukkah to shelter us, we need to trust our partners to support us. Next time you’re feeling overwhelmed, ask for help. Whether it’s emotional support or help with a task, showing that you can rely on them builds trust. For instance, if you’ve had a rough day, say, “I’m feeling really stressed. Could you help me figure this out?”

Sukkot also teaches us that we don’t need perfect conditions to experience joy. We might feel a breeze through the sukkah or hear a storm in the distance, but the celebration continues because we’ve learned to find beauty in the impermanent. Similarly, relationships aren’t always about perfection or avoiding conflict, but about learning to weather the storms together, knowing that each challenge brings you closer and strengthens your bond.

This Sukkot, try Celebrating the Small Wins: Just as we celebrate in the sukkah despite imperfect conditions, take time to celebrate small successes in your relationship. Did you navigate a tough conversation with grace? Did your partner support you in an unexpected way? Acknowledging these moments brings more joy into the relationship and shows that, like the sukkah, it’s the simple, authentic moments that matter.

So, as you reflect on your relationships this Sukkot, ask yourself: What walls have you built to protect yourself, and are they keeping you from deeper connection? Can you step out into the vulnerability and trust that, just like the sukkah, there’s strength in letting go and embracing the unknown?